There are two kinds of “good students.” You might think an A is an A. But it’s not. There is the kind of good student whose sight is set on achieving to the best of their ability. They are only satisfied when they know they have given it their all. It doesn’t matter who else tells them they did an amazing job on a paper…if they put a period in a sentence where there should’ve been a comma then the world is not right. The class wants to strangle this student upon finding out there is no curve because Smarty Pants got a 99 on a test that no one else achieved higher than a 75 on. That is good student X for the sake of our comparison.
Student Y also gets A’s in class…but student Y takes a little bit of a different path. Y calculates his grade prior to each test. He searches through the pages of the class syllabus to determine what percentage of his grade this test will account for and his computations ultimately reveal the lowest grade he/she can possibly get on the test to keep an A.
I am student Y. Impure motives & selfish desires…it’s a little bit embarrassing, I know, but the first step to overcoming is admitting, so maybe I am on my way to recovery :) This trait became apparent to me while I was in college and I don’t think I cared even a bit but as I analyze it now I am befuddled [I don’t think if I’ve ever typed that word before] at how I arrived there. I think some people are born into the pack of Student Y’s [it sounds like a disease] but not me, I love learning. I used to study my spelling words right up until the minute we had to take the test just so I could get a 100. I thrived on doing the best I possibly could…and then I was introduced to culture. The idea that one could do the least amount of work possible to achieve what they want began to eat away at my innocent perception of the world.
Has that same perception wreaked havoc on our relationships with the Lord? It makes me kind of sick to think about the Lord in the same context I think about grades…but it is the reality of our sinful, human nature. We want to do the least amount of work we can to be saved. We look around at other Christians and if we swear less than them and lie less than them and attend more bible studies than they do then we must be doing ok.
As I read the story of the prodigal son today the words of the older brother slapped me in the face, “All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me…” This sentence reeks of self-righteousness and entitlement…and it implies that if we can do just enough to be better than the next guy then we will have earned our right to _______.
I live in awe of a God who laughs at this ridiculous theory. Isaiah 64 reminds me of how small I am, “When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags.” Our most righteous acts [how often do those occur anyway?] are filth in comparison to our perfect, holy, loving Lord. Initially, these words discourage and dishearten but as they wash over me I begin to bask in the freedom that my good deeds will never win me salvation.
Salvation is free. Costly, but free. And our wonderful God has made it available to all of us. May you bask in that freedom today.
Jenna Thomas
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